Gaia Community: Lex's Blog

what are these guys on?

http://bushido.gaia.com — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:59:27 GMT

i usually use this statement when i'm complaining how other peple see life (and usually its in a shallow way). but for the past couple of days, i've been using this for ty pennington and all the other members of 'extreme makeover: home edition'. my mouth's literally open when i watch this show and say in my mind, "what are these guys on?" and i don't mean it in a bad way, rather something that's really amazing, to say the least.

not that i liked the show ever since.

when i first watched emhe, i felt that it was such a wasteful show (this is the environmentalist in me kicking in). destroying a house, building up from scratch, getting a bigger house, using all that energy, mostly non-renewable resources, blah-blah-blah, so on and so forth.

so after the introduction, i just got my remote and changed it to another channel without really understanding the context of the show. it was the end of emhe for me, or so i thought.

a few days ago, i started watching this show again. i was looking for a documentary and perhaps also see a home renovation show to get some ideas for the house. i couldn't find any at that time expect for 'extreme makeover: home edition'. letting go of all my complaints of it, i gave it a shot and actually watched a whole episode.

and i was blown away. i mean, here are people who build a house in 7 days and are helping deserving families. building a house in the regular timeframe is no joke. i've been through one and it's quite tiring with lack of adherence to the blueprint and all the complaints of everyone involved. and that's a year! these people are building it in 7 days -- that is just tremendous! i don't even see them complain, at least not on screen. but i think that they don't really have room to do that. not with what is at stake. it for the families, the future of the families that they are helping.

and when done right, it is bound to change their lives. (and that is what's at stake).

they've created a beautiful context that once the house is built, the family who now comes home to it becomes inspired, changed and transformed by this experience. i know that no one can replace a deceased loved-one or diseases that are happening within the family, but they've proven to have a very efective proxy in dealing with these things in an empowering manner. (if life is a game, this is a game i'd love to play.)

and then you have the community. there's the contractor and the volunteers who give their time and resources to these people. i was just astonished by the limitless way that people give. i see it in the way they build the house, and that always, it's not just a house but a future that speaks against domestic violence, promise, bringing families together, hope and love. i've never seen a profound sense of community found on such a systematic basis -- just episode after episode.

and when the episode finished, i was just saying, "what are these guys on?" really, what are these guys on that their view of life is so empowering? that they can accomplish so much in 7 days. that they change the lives of people.

this is indeed a lot of heart.

*****

this has actually given me an idea. i don't have the capacity yet to say what it is but it's going to go around the philippines and going to involve sport. and we're going to work it to the hilt!

Tags: ty pennington, extreme makeover home edition, emhe, empower

to a great man

http://bushido.gaia.com — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 08:14:27 GMT

to the man who said that, "we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."

to the man meant to send a legacy for his children ended up inspiring millons.

to the man whe believed that dreams do come true, and pushed others to do so.

to the man who i saw in a taped online lecture and ransformed me when it was over.

rest in peace, randy.

thank you for your life and your humanity. i know that you will live in others.

Tags: randy pausch

creativity

http://bushido.gaia.com — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:55:31 GMT

i had a group meeting yesterday morning with my classmates in a landmark education seminar. the topic ranged from posibilities that move us to handling unexpected results. at one point in our conversation, we came across the topic of creativity: on how real creativity is tapped.

tif, the painter in our group, told us that she was having a difficult time painting before and this was due to her selfishness. too much was focused on her insted of the contribution she was making and that's why she couldn't paint.

and i got it in my own life, that i have become selfish to my own creation that it has virually stopped, in writing and mostly in living.

wow.

Tags: creativity

personal hi(story)

http://bushido.gaia.com — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:48:38 GMT

"this my excavation and today is kumran
everything that happens is from now on"
- bon iver, 're: stacks'

i've been wondering why i haven't written much over the past few months (at least outside my blog and work). writing has not come to me easily. i sometimes wait for my fingers to tap on the keyboard, take hold of words and more often than not, resulted in producing incoherent sentences and paragraphs.

the best way i could explain it is being in a white room with furniture of the same color and shade and everything is bathed with white light from all directions. everything can be seen and yet, nothing can be distinguished. in the end, nothing can be described.

and yet, much of it is my own doing. i allowed myself to be in it, immersed in all that whiteness and not allowing the contrast to set in. years ago, i chose not to write when in a writhe of pain and instead write in a place of deep joy. this was one risk that i wanted to take, not realizing that this journey has its own confrontations and battles.

for one thing, i knew that once i set on this path, i could never write the same way again, even if i wanted to. it was a tiring way of writing and the fire that fueled it was almost empty anyway. secondly, coming from joy was entirely new to me and yet, i didn't know how to harness it. my pen quivers and at the same time, i had no idea what to write -- a seemingly real self-inflicted paralysis.

i know that this is a reflection of my personal history -- a soul that now stirs to a different beat and one that writes from a different source. there is a thread that connects one to the other -- a life that sees things newly.

and with that i understood.

all along i was standing in my own excavation, in kurman, where the dead sea scrolls were found. i stand where all my mystery lies, words that call to be unearthed. like an archaeologist finding his great discovery, i find my own great truth. this is my day. 'everything that happens is from now on.'

(and the contrast suddenly appears.)

Tags: life, writing

complaints

http://bushido.gaia.com — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:21:55 GMT

one of our assignments in a class that i'm taking now is listing down the complaints we have of life. mind you, in general, i don't have a lot of complaints and going through this is an arduous task (complaint # 1). recently, i've ascribed to gratitude in the everyday, whether i'm seemingly stuck or moving along quite well. in fact, while doing the assignment, i was actually complaining about needing to complain (complaint # 2). and as i was writing down my list of complaints last night with a context of having just read randy pausch's last lecture and sigur ros playing in the background, i just couldn't complain.

at one point, i said to myself: enough of this. i don't care if i'm not doing the assignment properly, but enough is enough (complaint # 3). how could i be complaining? i am blessed. this speck of dust is being used for a purpose beyond himself. life is coming together.

complaining is a complete disservice to the life i have. mind you, complaints pop up but i just shift my context to a place of gratitude immediately. i am grateful for the life i have now and complaints just have no place in all of this.

*****

complaints aside, here are the 5 things i'm grateful for this morning:

1. waking up early and seeing my brother and sister-in-law before they go off to work
2. exchanging e-mails with a friend in canada and knowing that he's settled down well there
3. listening to the new album of sigur ros (for me, if there was any music in heaven, this would be it. it has such a child-like quality and actually gives me goosebumps)
4. continuously recovering from my cough
5. having a filipino delicacy, patupat, with a hot cup of choco. yum!

*****

given that, this blog looks like a gratitude journal over the past few entries. (wow.)

Tags: complaints, gratitude

my manila

http://bushido.gaia.com — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 15:21:46 GMT

alistair, a new friend from oz, thanked me for letting him see my manila. while having dinner, he mentioned that it was great to have an opportunity to see manila from my perspective. and it was a beauty to see.

it was the first time that somebody said that to me -- my manila. i never knew that i was at that quality already, that i placed ownership of this place. once resented, twice spat at, thrice trampled on, now called my manila. since i saw the war-ravaged photos of the city after the second world war, my heart was just simply torn to simply see the city turn out like a mismash of sorts. it was a beautiful city, pre-war. but i failed to realize that it is still a beautiful city. like a long drawn out relationship, i have finally found acceptance and love.

beauty can really be seen with someone who is willing to see it. manila has finally become my home -- with it's grit and noise.

i love this city, in all it's chaos.

Tags: my manila, city

gratitude

http://bushido.gaia.com — Thu, 29 May 2008 10:15:55 GMT

in this aching body (having spent more time in the pool than i ever had in my life), i am filled with gratitude. everything really is coming together -- from all fronts. if this is what God means to be filled, then i'm totally floored. beyond that, words fail me.

Tags: gratitude

awe

http://bushido.gaia.com — Sat, 17 May 2008 14:05:47 GMT

i'm currently with about 20 social entrepreneurs now from all over asia. it's exciting and empowering to be with all these people, listening to their dreams & aspirations and exploring ideas. i'm in awe by being with such a group.

i really feel privileged to be listening to such conversations.

Tags: social entrepreneurs, kl

a life of gratitude

http://bushido.gaia.com — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:42:08 GMT

i am continuously realizing that there is no other way to live life than this: to have a heart of gratitude.

i am extremely grateful for the life i have, for the people i meet, for the friends i already have, for the wonderful kids now here in camp, for the bountiful life altogether.

wow. thank you.

Tags: gratitude

generosity

http://bushido.gaia.com — Fri, 09 May 2008 01:52:44 GMT

i am astounded by the generosity of people these days.

i have been working on a fundraising here in cebu with the philippine business for social progress, for the people of olango island in providing livelihood programs, building schools and protecting the wildlife sanctuary that surrounds it. it is an important island in the philippines because it is an international migratory flyway and to the north of it is only one of 6 double barrier reefs in the world. it has great potential of becoming a sustainable model in ecotourism -- and you know what this means -- betterment of the lives of the 20,000 people there.

and to realize that i am at the source of it, too. wow. (i am exteremely humbled that this speck of dust is capable of doing this much).

*****

we've created the swim-for-a-cause for this specific purpose and is called the "olango challenge". tomorrow, competitive, fun and fin swimmers will be crossing the gilulongan channel, 5 kilometers long, not only to race and get the chance to go to bali, indonesia for the asian beach games but also to raise and give awareness to olango island.

for those of you who want to support, you can pledge for my swim and support for every kilometer that i make.

i thank you in advance for a world of difference that you're making.

Tags: olango challenge, giving, pledge, swim for a cause

courage

http://bushido.gaia.com — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:11:48 GMT

i've been cleaning up my inbox and basically archiving my e-mail over the past few days but before i send 'em over to the archives, i read at least a few of the mail threads. one of those was an e-mail i sent apojim last january 5, 2006, which i wrote:

"i remembered you telling us about your real name being haring liwanag. i was actually thinking about mine 3 years ago when i read paulo coelho's fifth mountain. ever since that time, i've asked myself the question. i've always thought it was independence put it didn't ring true to me. it was only part of my name but not my whole name. last december, while i was in kabayan, benguet, i finally found out: courage or tapang. it complements my totem as hawk (which i have taken since a friend of mine told me that she reminds me of a hawk) and being a warrior of the light, albeit with much imperfections and stumbling from time to time. thanks for sharing about real names and because of that, i've started questioning mine again in the past few months."

amazing how a confluence of events, or rather of how life purports itself in such a manner. about a year after, i declared the same possibility in my advanced course in landmark education, furthering my true nature, of who i am in this world.

today, i find myself such.

Tags: courage, tapang, real name

ode to the drum

http://bushido.gaia.com — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:57:03 GMT

dancing in the sweltering heat, let that beat renew you each moment of your life.

*****

ode to the drum
by yusef komunyakaa

gazelle, i killed you
for your skin's exquisite
touch, for how easy it is
to be nailed to a board
weathered raw as white
butcher paper. last night
i heard my daughter praying
for the meat here at my feet.
you know it wasn't anger
that made me stop my heart
till the hammer fell. weeks
ago, i broke you as a woman
once shattered me into a song
beneath her weight, before
you slouched into that
grassy hush. but now
i'm tightening lashes,
shaping hide as if around
a ribcage, stretched
like five bowstrings.
ghosts cannot slip back
inside the body's drum.
you've been seasoned
by wind, dusk & sunlight.
pressure can make everything
whole again, brass nails
tacked into the ebony wood
your face has been carved
five times. i have to drive
trouble from the valley.
trouble in the hills.
trouble on the river
too. there's no kola nut,
palm wine, fish, salt,
or calabash. kadoom.
kadoom. kadoom. ka-
doooom. kadoom. now
i have beaten a song back into you,
rise & walk away like a panther.

Tags: ode to the drum, newness

love

http://bushido.gaia.com — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:39:32 GMT

my advanced course leader in landmark education once told my classmates and i that to lead a full life, one must realize that one's heart will be broken a million times over.

today, i found my heart broken and then made whole again.

this is love in its fullness. and i'd do it a billion times over.

Tags: love

a stroke of insight

http://bushido.gaia.com — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:04:09 GMT

Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight

i got this from my friend, jim (thank you). dr. taylor's account of her stroke is remarkable. coming from a perspective of a brain scientist, this is brilliant.

i've watched ted talks for a while and this is one of the best that i've watched. she puts the higher consciousness into something that's understandable and gives Grace and Presence (God Presence, Life Presence) its full impact in the now. she talks about understanding how
the brain works and how it relates to who we are. this is the best i've seen with regards to that.

i want to share with you where my path has gone (i've been reading stuff on this and it's very similar to what she's discussed), why i choose the way i choose and why i'm grateful everyday.

Tags: life, love, ted talks, stroke, dr. taylor

dog days

http://bushido.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:08:54 GMT

leisure and work tend to be blurry for me these days, seemingly like dogs lying around one moment then protecting the turf of their master in another, not knowing the distinction between the two.

lazing around one minute, then working another. laughing with the people around me over a glass of wine while working on a schedule for the summer. i truly appreciate how one flows into the other.

truly a privilege. life is indeed amazing.

Tags: life

getting the world

http://bushido.gaia.com — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:21:06 GMT

"if you give, you, you begin to live.
if you give, you begin to live.
you begin, you get the world.
if you give, you begin to give
you get the world, you get the world.
if you give, you begin to live."

- dmb, you might die trying

Tags: dmb, giving, living

gratitude

http://bushido.gaia.com — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:14:00 GMT

1. spending monday morning at the lake. nothing beats waking up monday morning in my second home and being greeted by the glistening water and the sound of lapping waves.

2. after having numerous failed attempts, i finally get to eat at chelsea! great conversations with great food is always a blessing -- especially if it's done with 'the republic of caliraya', who i consider as my second family. when i'm with these people, i know i am home.

3. celebrating the life of one of my campers who died less than 2 months ago. greiving as a group allowed love to rise, a love that knows no boundaries. as much as there were tears, there was also much laughter. i know that he will be remembered but more than that, he will be celebrated.

4. seeing tall grass swaying with the wind on my drive home from the lake and having the perfect angle of light from the sun strike it and producing a golden glow. it was as if time slowed down to eternity. beats any similar computer-generated scene from a movie.

5. getting to see one of my best buds after months not being able to. as one of the 'citizens' of 'the republic', it was good that the other 'citizens' saw him as well. even a short chat is welcome. serendra's always a good place to have chance meetings.

Tags: gratitude

the big picture

http://bushido.gaia.com — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:43:28 GMT

so that's what it is!

i'm glad that there are people who allow me to see for myself the true essence that i am. seeing the big picture in my life just makes it all the more easier. mind you, i don't have it all just figured out but at the very least, i'm seeing a bigger picture than the one i just saw before.

(just wanted to write this down before i forget.)

Tags: living large

thoughts over sms

http://bushido.gaia.com — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:23:19 GMT

an sms from my friend and mentor, 02/27/08, 18:34:

"after a string of moderate success and progress in endeavors that i've dedicated myself to, my mom asked me: are you happy? funny that she asked. so i thought about happiness in terms of achieving goals and realize that some of these goals that i have had for decades already. maybe i wasn't ready or the world wasn't ready but it suddenly leaves a pleasant feeling of surprise. not many people are able to watch themselves do what it takes over to achieve something and i do realize its an intelligence worth developing. but the realization that came to me is of a spiritual nature. goals and dreams are important, time passes too fast, all this we already know. but the most important thing is the now. this moment of the present. this moment of His presence. am i happy? no. i am full of joy! and i am grateful to God for that gift. kinda funny how the word present and presence can be mixed up, huh? learning to tell the difference might just be the key to enter and stay in that place called joy, which exists whether we succeed or not."

*****

i'm glad that there's sms in long form now.

Tags: sms, life, joy

the time of our lives

http://bushido.gaia.com — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:16:53 GMT

"witnessing to one’s deepest convictions, notwithstanding the consequences, is the measure of our humanity. proclaiming the truth to others, whatever the cost, is the mark of authentic humanity."
- manoling francisco, sj, "reclaiming our humanity", homily at the mass for rodolfo noel lozada jr.

again, the philippines is experiencing a shake-up of events. jun lozada, a person who has worked with the government, has exposed the extent of graft and corruption that the present administration is involved in. he has implicated the first family in embezzlement of millions of dollars from a national infrastructure project. it has been made very public with televised senate hearings. though one can try hard to get away from it, inevitably, it can't escape the public consciousness.

these are hard times for the country by taking on a very bitter pill. we have put this president into power during the peaceful revolution back in 2001 and now face the consequences of being unable to provide a consistent accountability structure with regards to government spending. it shows that we, as a filipino people, have not fully opened our wounds for healing.

but beautiful times as well. i see this as the perfect opportunity for transformation, both as individuals and as a society. when i marched along with a million others during the second peaceful mass uprising of 2001, i knew that i could make a difference. i knew from then on that my voice can be heard and that there's an awesome opportunity for change. i know what its like to fight for my country.

on my end, i guess i just forgot that this is a continuous process, it doesn't end with just a single event of installing a new president but rather to take a look at the wounds that have haunted our nation and finally allow it to heal. it is a tipping point, a time where we can set things right and continue towards that path of healing and redemption. what i can see now is not another mass uprising but rather a coalescing group hungry for change, seeking the truth, reclaiming its humanity and pushing forward in action.

real and lasting change has started: people putting up new businesses and providing a number of citizens with jobs, ngo's and foundations empowering the marginalized, the rise of social entrepreneurship, an organized accountability structure on the side of civil society and an amazing private construction boom that the country has never experienced before.

it takes some pounding to break that wall down but slowly and surely, the cracks are starting to show. these are beautiful and amazing times indeed. not often is a society, a country given an opportunity to heal so quickly, so profoundly.

i believe that there are great things destined for this nation. i love my country. more than ever, i am proud to be filipino.

Tags: philippines, being filipino, nation building