alistair, a new friend from oz, thanked me for letting him see my manila. while having dinner, he mentioned that it was great to have an opportunity to see manila from my perspective. and it was a beauty to see.

it was the first time that somebody said that to me -- my manila. i never knew that i was at that quality already, that i placed ownership of this place. once resented, twice spat at, thrice trampled on, now called my manila. since i saw the war-ravaged photos of the city after the second world war, my heart was just simply torn to simply see the city turn out like a mismash of sorts. it was a beautiful city, pre-war. but i failed to realize that it is still a beautiful city. like a long drawn out relationship, i have finally found acceptance and love.

beauty can really be seen with someone who is willing to see it. manila has finally become my home -- with it's grit and noise.

i love this city, in all it's chaos.

one of our assignments in a class that i'm taking now is listing down the complaints we have of life. mind you, in general, i don't have a lot of complaints and going through this is an arduous task (complaint # 1). recently, i've ascribed to gratitude in the everyday, whether i'm seemingly stuck or moving along quite well. in fact, while doing the assignment, i was actually complaining about needing to complain (complaint # 2). and as i was writing down my list of complaints last night with a context of having just read randy pausch's last lecture and sigur ros playing in the background, i just couldn't complain.

at one point, i said to myself: enough of this. i don't care if i'm not doing the assignment properly, but enough is enough (complaint # 3). how could i be complaining? i am blessed. this speck of dust is being used for a purpose beyond himself. life is coming together.

complaining is a complete disservice to the life i have. mind you, complaints pop up but i just shift my context to a place of gratitude immediately. i am grateful for the life i have now and complaints just have no place in all of this.


complaints aside, here are the 5 things i'm grateful for this morning:

1. waking up early and seeing my brother and sister-in-law before they go off to work
2. exchanging e-mails with a friend in canada and knowing that he's settled down well there
3. listening to the new album of sigur ros (for me, if there was any music in heaven, this would be it. it has such a child-like quality and actually gives me goosebumps)
4. continuously recovering from my cough
5. having a filipino delicacy, patupat, with a hot cup of choco. yum!


given that, this blog looks like a gratitude journal over the past few entries. (wow.)