an sms from my friend and mentor, 02/27/08, 18:34:

"after a string of moderate success and progress in endeavors that i've dedicated myself to, my mom asked me: are you happy? funny that she asked. so i thought about happiness in terms of achieving goals and realize that some of these goals that i have had for decades already. maybe i wasn't ready or the world wasn't ready but it suddenly leaves a pleasant feeling of surprise. not many people are able to watch themselves do what it takes over to achieve something and i do realize its an intelligence worth developing. but the realization that came to me is of a spiritual nature. goals and dreams are important, time passes too fast, all this we already know. but the most important thing is the now. this moment of the present. this moment of His presence. am i happy? no. i am full of joy! and i am grateful to God for that gift. kinda funny how the word present and presence can be mixed up, huh? learning to tell the difference might just be the key to enter and stay in that place called joy, which exists whether we succeed or not."


i'm glad that there's sms in long form now.

so that's what it is!

i'm glad that there are people who allow me to see for myself the true essence that i am. seeing the big picture in my life just makes it all the more easier. mind you, i don't have it all just figured out but at the very least, i'm seeing a bigger picture than the one i just saw before.

(just wanted to write this down before i forget.)

1. spending monday morning at the lake. nothing beats waking up monday morning in my second home and being greeted by the glistening water and the sound of lapping waves.

2. after having numerous failed attempts, i finally get to eat at chelsea! great conversations with great food is always a blessing -- especially if it's done with 'the republic of caliraya', who i consider as my second family.  when i'm with these people, i know i am home.

3. celebrating the life of one of my campers who died less than 2 months ago. greiving as a group allowed love to rise, a love that knows no boundaries. as much as there were tears, there was also much laughter. i know that he will be remembered but more than that, he will be celebrated.

4. seeing tall grass swaying with the wind on my drive home from the lake and having the perfect angle of light from the sun strike it and producing a golden glow. it was as if time slowed down to eternity. beats any similar computer-generated scene from a movie.

5. getting to see one of my best buds after months not being able to. as one of the 'citizens' of 'the republic', it was good that the other 'citizens' saw him as well. even a short chat is welcome. serendra's always a good place to have chance meetings.

"if you give, you, you begin to live.
if you give, you begin to live.
you begin, you get the world.
if you give, you begin to give
you get the world, you get the world.
if you give, you begin to live."

- dmb, you might die trying

leisure and work tend to be blurry for me these days, seemingly like dogs lying around one moment then protecting the turf of their master in another, not knowing the distinction between the two.

lazing around one minute, then working another. laughing with the people around me over a glass of wine while working on a schedule for the summer. i truly appreciate how one flows into the other.

truly a privilege. life is indeed amazing.