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life
July 2008 
the movements of life
Posted on Sep 26th, 2007
by 
Lex
Lex
"let your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf."
- rabindranath tagore
over the weekend, i received a message on my mobile informing me that the mom of one of my good friends passed away. from partying a day before and enjoying a wonderful weekend of dives in anilao, i've been informed of this. it came to me as a shock. i know that death is inevitable for all of us but this one was quite quick.
being one of my best buds, i felt for vince. a number of times i went to their house and saw how gracious his mom was. it was always a joy to be around them. with those thoughts along with some memories i've accumulated over the years about them, i treaded back to manila and headed to the wake. i arrived just in time as for service, a requiescat more or less. strangely though, i didn't want to be inside yet as the service was going on. i felt like i was an observer: seeing the pain of the family and yet, unable to console them.
i guess the inevitable comes and you enter. to that sacred space where family members and friends allow that love to flourish, to where tears flow for someone you know as important and to where people laugh and cheer for a life well-lived. the service was still ongoing as i entered.. a number of people already spoke up to give their thanks and one of the last was vince's sister, trina.
it was a privilege listening to her eulogy. here was one person willing to let go and thank God for the opportunity to have a mom like her. that she wouldn't have the respect for all mothers if it weren't for her. that she was able to define beauty not through a dictionary but through a person. that indeed she was a gift.
(wow.)
i stayed on for another hour or so after the service ended. i talked with vince for quite a bit and i could really see that he misses her. i once heard from my friend that within the oceans of our despair, we are recepients of grace, that through it, we heal and find our wholeness.
these days, i arrive to the house with so much joy. i have a new ritual, i usually open the door where my godson sleeps and gaze upon his face. most of the time, i see him asleep. and even as such, i look upon him with so much gratitude. here is a life just starting to burst forth. with every breath, every undulation of his stomach, i experience the mystery of life all over again.
such abundance. full of mystery.
from death to life: it seems overly paradoxical these days. or may i dare say all the time. the experience of birth and death, the movement of joy and grief, all are 2 sides of the same coin. sometimes, i just refuse to see it that way. it seems as though life has been thrown at me full speed, no experience less than the other and i guess this is me continuously grasping how it is to live: experiencing benevolence and grace.
- rabindranath tagore
over the weekend, i received a message on my mobile informing me that the mom of one of my good friends passed away. from partying a day before and enjoying a wonderful weekend of dives in anilao, i've been informed of this. it came to me as a shock. i know that death is inevitable for all of us but this one was quite quick.
being one of my best buds, i felt for vince. a number of times i went to their house and saw how gracious his mom was. it was always a joy to be around them. with those thoughts along with some memories i've accumulated over the years about them, i treaded back to manila and headed to the wake. i arrived just in time as for service, a requiescat more or less. strangely though, i didn't want to be inside yet as the service was going on. i felt like i was an observer: seeing the pain of the family and yet, unable to console them.
i guess the inevitable comes and you enter. to that sacred space where family members and friends allow that love to flourish, to where tears flow for someone you know as important and to where people laugh and cheer for a life well-lived. the service was still ongoing as i entered.. a number of people already spoke up to give their thanks and one of the last was vince's sister, trina.
it was a privilege listening to her eulogy. here was one person willing to let go and thank God for the opportunity to have a mom like her. that she wouldn't have the respect for all mothers if it weren't for her. that she was able to define beauty not through a dictionary but through a person. that indeed she was a gift.
(wow.)
i stayed on for another hour or so after the service ended. i talked with vince for quite a bit and i could really see that he misses her. i once heard from my friend that within the oceans of our despair, we are recepients of grace, that through it, we heal and find our wholeness.
*****
these days, i arrive to the house with so much joy. i have a new ritual, i usually open the door where my godson sleeps and gaze upon his face. most of the time, i see him asleep. and even as such, i look upon him with so much gratitude. here is a life just starting to burst forth. with every breath, every undulation of his stomach, i experience the mystery of life all over again.
such abundance. full of mystery.
from death to life: it seems overly paradoxical these days. or may i dare say all the time. the experience of birth and death, the movement of joy and grief, all are 2 sides of the same coin. sometimes, i just refuse to see it that way. it seems as though life has been thrown at me full speed, no experience less than the other and i guess this is me continuously grasping how it is to live: experiencing benevolence and grace.
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